I just read the most refreshing blog post. It was honest. The author was honest about what she was saying. I’ve met her in real, physical life, and to say what she has said directly to others is even tougher. She is one of the strongest people I know, and it’s been a hard life for her. But she had the courage to let Jesus take control, and I admire her greatly. It’s not easy.
So now I want to be honest. I know I can never be completely honest, but I’m going to try.
This blog is basically a collage of what I’ve learned, what God has told me. I know I must sound preachy at times. That’s not my intent at all. But by putting things into words, I think it helps me understand on a deeper level. And sometimes, when I feel bad, I look back on old posts and try to remember why I’m here. These posts, they’re for me. They’re also for the world, but I write them for me and give it to the world. The tone? It’s for me, not you.
I’m sure you’ve caught on that I’m a rather uptight person. Sadly, it appears in my writing. But that’s how God made me, so it must serve some purpose… I hope.
In this truth circle I seem to have just formed, I’ll tell you about some blunders I’ve made today. When I start something, it’s usually best I continue until I’m finished, because otherwise, it will take longer. I work best by devoting a large amount of time to one, sole thing. They say it’s best in college if you only work on the homework from one class only for one or two hours at a time. I say, do it all in one clump if possible. The reason is that I get distracted easily. When I stop, that allows for a time where other things can and will sidetrack me. Today, I watched far too much TV, and did far too little school work. Why? Well, today it was because my stomach growled at really bad times. Just half an hour ago, while watching a TV crime show, something in the background distracted me, and I hardly paid attention to the show, instead trying to figure out whether I had seen decorative fruits or a painting of fruits. I’m like a dog with three squirrels.
So it’s not the worst thing in the world. But let me tell you, procrastination and distraction are two terrible traits I have. I’m getting better at the procrastination. In fact, I no longer put the “pro” in “procrastination.” But distractions… Did you know that I was supposed to be writing in a story right now? Clearly, distractions are quite a bother.
I’m very impatient. Right now, I’m annoying myself because I don’t know where I’m going with this.
See? I’m a person. Right now, I’m scared. I’m terrified of the future. I keep getting older. In a few months I’ll be a legal adult. Soon, I’ll move out to live with a stranger in a dorm. One terrible year from now, I doubt I’ll be able to snuggle with my cat. He’ll be at least an hour away. And my life skills are severely lacking. The list goes on and on.
Right now, I’m dealing with the right now. I used to be petrified of the future. Now, I’m only terrified, and most of the time, I’m able to forget that. Why? Because of God. Only last month did He reveal what appears to be what I’ll have as a job one day. It incorporates my few skills that are kind of useless in most places, and it’s something I love. Best of all, it felt right with God. And it all happened right before I needed to narrow down the colleges. Right now I’m at ten, although I think it’s probably closer to six or five in reality (The other four or five are kind of just there, floating in limbo. I have no reason not to go there, but I don’t really want to.).
This is my life. It’s not fun, it’s really boring, and I have issues. You don’t even know the half of it. But I have to go to sleep because I don’t want to procrastinate tomorrow, like I did today.
Just remember that we all have our issues. It’s just a matter of how we deal with them. I don’t know about you, but personally, I know Jesus to be my answer.
“God is God. Because He is God, He is worthy of my trust and obedience. I will find rest nowhere but in His holy will, a will that is unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what He is up to.” Elisabeth Elliot
No comments:
Post a Comment