The real blog post begins in paragraph three. Paragraph two is merely a detour.
Here I am, at the end of my first week back to college. It’s been great and nightmarish. Two of my classes are online (Hooray!). One’s at the college itself. I only go to the college twice a week. As a lifelong homeschooler, I’m used to doing things on my own. It all works out pretty well. And then I contracted some short-lived virus that plagued me the night before and the day of yesterday, my second day in class. My stomach was in an uproar, my head was in shambles, my body forgot it had a brain, and my balance napped at inconvenient times. There was heavy traffic on the way there, so I contacted some friends. Even after they informed me that they were already on campus, I continued to inform them of the backup. See? Brain and mouth not communicating. At least they were amused… I’ve been told that my life is pathetically entertaining. Ah, but you probably do not want to hear about it…
I want to discuss prayer. And life. And other related things. I’m not really sure how broad or specific this will be. Read on to find out!
I’m not sure when it happened. Maybe a month ago. But here’s what happened:
For about a year, I’ve been considering being a Christian counselor. I did a lot of research. I took two psychology classes. I mean, I was really serious about it. I knew I’d need a Master’s, something I was not looking forward to, but I could help people in God’s name, and do something I liked. I mean, that’s the dream, right?
I was wrong. One day, my mom said something that triggered a memory. Someone, probably my mom, had once asked me if it was a good profession. Why it was a good match. And I suddenly knew; it was not. I was blown away by the question of while I might enjoy the job, would it be good for the other side? Would my patients benefit? I’m not exactly great with people. And I knew it wouldn’t be right to be selfish in that way. I could potentially hurt people. And it didn’t feel right. It actually never felt completely right, but close, and at that moment, it was wrong. It was all wrong. A whole year, gone.
This last summer (it’s officially fall as of today), I explored my few options. And I found something new. Only one thing: American Sign Language Interpreter. I fell in love with deaf culture a year ago, and something last summer, something clicked. I explored my options, and was again happy. I was only sad in that I had yet to find a backup career.
Two months, I believe, was I gung-ho for being an ASL interpreter. I was even signed up for ASL 2 at the college before the realization. Things were slipping into place.
GOTCHA! I realized it was wrong for me. Maybe a month ago, I knew it was wrong, mostly for the same reason psychology was; people are just not in my repertoire. But it was closer that being a counselor had been. I knew I was getting closer.
My greatest love is words. So I read a book about jobs in writing. Nada. I mean, I really needed to know my major. Wherever I went, I would have to declare a major. I wanted to apply early. And once I had my colleges narrowed down to a few, I could really look into their scholarship information. You see why it was a disheartening summer, right? All the research, Biblical devotions, reading, writing. I was aiming to discover what God wanted from me. And with my SAT scores? I considered taking a year off from school to get a job, and study again for that evil test unknown to my existence until a couple months before I took it. Ah, the huge pitfall of home schooling: your mother as your teacher means your knowledge outside of the subjects could very well only extend to her.
I’m getting off topic. Let’s see… Ah, yes, I left off with finding out I wasn’t made for ASL interpreting, although ASL is a completely different topic.
I’m not sure what possessed me that day, perhaps a month ago. Perhaps I do. I think it was from my extensive reading. I was reading a book about writing a novel, and the path it took to get published. Editors and the slush pile are all I really remember gave me the idea. So, I looked up the kind of jobs in a publishing house. Voila!
The editors edit (of course), and sort through manuscripts. A book editor? Working with fiction? I looked at the entry level position, and even that looked positively lovely.
I was in love, and I still am. Every little thing feels perfect. This isn’t good; this is very good. I mean, I’d major in English! Preferably literature.
Sure, there are issues. I mean, I’m not sure exactly how God will work through me, but not everyone can be a missionary. My mom still is urging me to major in journalism because there are a lot more job opportunities, but I’ve never really liked journalism, although I love the word. My dad doesn’t even understand what the job is. But they’re small, and unrelated to what’s important: serving God. (Oh, dear, I do quite overuse colons and semicolons.)
Counseling was like sticking the key in a door, ASL was turning the key, and editing was like opening the door. For all I know there are other steps, like walking in, cleaning, eating, sleeping, making the bed, etc… But I’m letting God be in charge of my movements. And this is at least a step in the right direction. It only took me, oh, I don’t know, seventeen years and seven months of observing, praying, researching, praying, deciding, praying, and praying to come to where I am now.
Trust me, I’ve been praying about this for the majority of my life. I know I’m young, but I’m not patient at all. Knowing my major, and possible minors helped me sort through the 200+ colleges (I’m very thorough). And now, with God’s help, I’m embarking on the quest to choose a college. I’m 90% sure which one I want to go to, but I’ve still got to explore my options, with God’s assistance. For all I know, it’s what psychology was at first.
I’m not sure how else to express where God should be in our lives. He’s a part of everything I do.
Here’s a question:
Where does God rank on your list of priorities?
You have your answer? Here’s mine:
He’s the paper the list is written on. Without the paper, there is no list. He should be the foundation of everything.
I’m not going to lie; it gets difficult when God’s answer is to wait. And for the larger things in my life that I’ve prayed about, that tends to be the answer I get. Wait. Wait, Crystal. Be patient. One of these days… And when He answers, I least expect it. I wasn’t looking for a career when it hit me.
Just pray. And let God lead you. Because He always hears, and in the end, it’s always worth it.
“I wish I had a quote, but my computer’s not working right. Please, God, please, God, PLEASE let it work this time!” -Joe
“Not this time.” -God
“… Fine.” -Joe
