Tuesday, July 26, 2011

That Nagging Feeling

     I think I’m going to scream. Yep. But I won’t because my voice has been weak for a couple months… Oh, I need to do something!
     You know what’s worse? This isn’t something that will pass. It’s not like when I’m mad at someone, or when my stomach shouts at me that it needs food. (Stomach- “Girgle, whiiiiiine! Grr.” Me- “I just fed you half an hour ago, you endless pit!” Stomach- “Said the liar.”)
     Okay. It’ll pass eventually. But let me tell you, that moment can’t come too soon! Do you want to know why, oh, reader? Let me tell you.
     Some time earlier today, I would probably say before noon, I got this weird feeling in me. I was enveloped by the foreignness. Mid afternoon, most likely around 4pm, I understood the basics of the feeling. Finally, I thought. Wait, that’s it? God, You’re telling me to do something. Normal, but extraordinary. But what? I’ve had a nagging feeling ever since. You know what’s funny? In a personal Bible study I was doing, I wrote a note to myself about how in Galatians, Paul acted immediately on what God told him, without even consulting the apostles or anyone! So he traveled off to somewhere and etcetera. He acted upon his instinct. He didn’t ask for input or wait to make sure. He knew what he knew so he acted. No hesitation.
     Knowing what I know, being me, plus, on top of it all, having relatable scripture right on hand has caused there to be a terrible, nagging feeling in my whole self. And you know what? This isn’t my being impatience. It’s not. I know what it feels like to be impatient. This… is different.
     Oh, wow. You know what? I can’t believe I never saw this sooner! Okay, in the book I’m reading, Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris (Did I already mention them? I can’t remember…), they wrote about what I am. Changing our teenage role. Then they became “guinea pigs for [their] own ideas.” The were invited to apply for, and then got internships at the Alabama Supreme Court. I doubt that I’m going to do something quite so big (although I can’t say it’s impossible, because that would be doubting God), I know it’s still important… whatever it is.
     Okay. It’s time to spend some time in prayer, in my Bible, and in the multitude if Christian books scattered around me. Yup.

     “But when God, who set me apart from my mother’s womb and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, my immediate response was not to consult any human being. I did not go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went into Arabia. Later I returned to Damascus.” Galatians 1:15-17

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