A Slice of Reality

     I just read the most refreshing blog post. It was honest. The author was honest about what she was saying. I’ve met her in real, physical life, and to say what she has said directly to others is even tougher. She is one of the strongest people I know, and it’s been a hard life for her. But she had the courage to let Jesus take control, and I admire her greatly. It’s not easy.
     So now I want to be honest. I know I can never be completely honest, but I’m going to try.
     This blog is basically a collage of what I’ve learned, what God has told me. I know I must sound preachy at times. That’s not my intent at all. But by putting things into words, I think it helps me understand on a deeper level. And sometimes, when I feel bad, I look back on old posts and try to remember why I’m here. These posts, they’re for me. They’re also for the world, but I write them for me and give it to the world. The tone? It’s for me, not you.
     I’m sure you’ve caught on that I’m a rather uptight person. Sadly, it appears in my writing. But that’s how God made me, so it must serve some purpose… I hope.
     In this truth circle I seem to have just formed, I’ll tell you about some blunders I’ve made today. When I start something, it’s usually best I continue until I’m finished, because otherwise, it will take longer. I work best by devoting a large amount of time to one, sole thing. They say it’s best in college if you only work on the homework from one class only for one or two hours at a time. I say, do it all in one clump if possible. The reason is that I get distracted easily. When I stop, that allows for a time where other things can and will sidetrack me. Today, I watched far too much TV, and did far too little school work. Why? Well, today it was because my stomach growled at really bad times. Just half an hour ago, while watching a TV crime show, something in the background distracted me, and I hardly paid attention to the show, instead trying to figure out whether I had seen decorative fruits or a painting of fruits. I’m like a dog with three squirrels.
     So it’s not the worst thing in the world. But let me tell you, procrastination and distraction are two terrible traits I have. I’m getting better at the procrastination. In fact, I no longer put the “pro” in “procrastination.” But distractions… Did you know that I was supposed to be writing in a story right now? Clearly, distractions are quite a bother.
     I’m very impatient. Right now, I’m annoying myself because I don’t know where I’m going with this.
     See? I’m a person. Right now, I’m scared. I’m terrified of the future. I keep getting older. In a few months I’ll be a legal adult. Soon, I’ll move out to live with a stranger in a dorm. One terrible year from now, I doubt I’ll be able to snuggle with my cat. He’ll be at least an hour away. And my life skills are severely lacking. The list goes on and on.
     Right now, I’m dealing with the right now. I used to be petrified of the future. Now, I’m only terrified, and most of the time, I’m able to forget that. Why? Because of God. Only last month did He reveal what appears to be what I’ll have as a job one day. It incorporates my few skills that are kind of useless in most places, and it’s something I love. Best of all, it felt right with God. And it all happened right before I needed to narrow down the colleges. Right now I’m at ten, although I think it’s probably closer to six or five in reality (The other four or five are kind of just there, floating in limbo. I have no reason not to go there, but I don’t really want to.).
     This is my life. It’s not fun, it’s really boring, and I have issues. You don’t even know the half of it. But I have to go to sleep because I don’t want to procrastinate tomorrow, like I did today.
     Just remember that we all have our issues. It’s just a matter of how we deal with them. I don’t know about you, but personally, I know Jesus to be my answer.

     “God is God. Because He is God, He is worthy of my trust and obedience. I will find rest nowhere but in His holy will, a will that is unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what He is up to.” Elisabeth Elliot

True Heroes

          Everyone feels convicted to do something every now and then. To be honest, lately, I’ve been ignoring a great many of them. This isn’t me! I think. This can’t be! When have I ever not done something I’ve felt convicted to do? Alas, the answer is: All the time. When it comes to my life, I can procrastinate more than should be humanly possible! I’m a PROcrastinator (Get it?). However, just because I wait until the day before Christmas to clean my junk yard of a room (Not this year! Hopefully.) does not mean that I procrastinate when it comes to my faith. If I feel the urge to read my Bible, I will do so, even if I open it just to look at one randomly-picked verse. That is why I am so disappointed in myself lately.

          I planned on reading Deuteronomy a couple months ago, one chapter a day. I could handle that. Then- POOF- I forgot. For probably a month and a half, or so, I’ve stalked myself up on all of the books in the house I felt I would like to read (Aside from a few missing ones), I had about fifty. A couple days ago, I came across the first few I had meant to read.

          How could I forget? I forget silly things, like that I’m lactose intolerant (I outgrew it a couple years ago), or where I placed my iPod. I forget important things, like that fact that I’m going away for the weekend to watch my mom run a marathon. I forget what my name is for a few seconds sometimes! But I almost never forget things that pertain to my faith. I’m almost seething at myself for doing such a thing.

          I was cleaning my room of all things when I stumbled (Quite literally) into my closet. I dumped the shirts into a pile, and as I left the walk-in closet, I noticed a book I hadn’t remembered sorting through. Now, I know you’re thinking, How is that monumental? You forgot your name, insipid person! This matters to me. I spent a good hour at the least pouring over those books, deciding which was deemed mandatory reading. I have a good memory for odd things.

           I glimpsed the title and it stopped me in my tracks: True Heroism in a World of Celebrity Counterfeits by Dick Keyes. I still have no idea why, but I felt convicted to move it to the top of my Must Read Immediately book stack on my bed.

          I’m still trying to figure out how it figures into my life. I’m not a parent, nor am I obsessed with the famous. So until I read it, I will just talk about the truth in the title.

          I went Christmas shopping yesterday. In a kid’s toy store, I saw multitudes of inappropriately dressed (and physically impossible) Barbie’s, Justin Bieber, and other teenage “heroes.” In many other stores I saw the Twilight “heroes.” One the radio on the ride home, I heard all about political “heroes.” (As a side note, my sister and I spent a good portion of our time seeking out these so called “heroes” and covered them with more… true heroes, and pajamas.) Apparently, it doesn’t take much to qualify as a hero. For the most part, I was disappointed with what I saw.

          How did my parent’s generation create such horrible heroes? When I was young, I practically idolized the characters from The Lion King and Pippy Longstocking. I loved Big Bird. Now kids adore anything pop culture feeds them and have expectations that their life should resemble that of their idol Hannah Montana.

          Why can’t pop culture teach good morals and publicize the work of unknown heroes (Of course I mean true heroes, but most of them are unknown.)? I just think that people should be more aware of who/what they deem their “hero.” If people were kept well-informed, they would probably reconsider getting their daughter a book series about a girl who doesn’t know which guy she loves, sees no reason to get upset over being stalked, and then decides (foolishly) to live forever on earth. “Someday you will read in the papers that Moody is dead. Don't you believe a word of it. At that moment I shall be more alive than I am now. I was born of the flesh in 1837; I was born of the spirit in 1855. That which is born of the flesh may die. That which is born of the Spirit shall live forever.” -Dwight L. Moody

          I have no witty words or sudden conclusion. I only want to say this; pray that my forgetfulness vanishes and is replaced with heavenly wisdom and a lack of procrastination. Pray that I get something lasting from this book I feel compelled to read. Pray that these people around you will find a hero in someone who deserves the attention.

          “True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.” -Arthur Ashe